Why Healing Your Inner Child Isn’t Optional—It’s Survival

How EMDR Attachment Repair Can Rewire Your Brain, Restore Your Soul, and Finally Root You in a Life You Love

Let me be blunt: if you haven’t healed your attachment wounds, you’re not grounded. You’re not rooted. And it’s not your fault—but it is your responsibility to repair it.

I say this with all the fire in my chest and all the softness of my mother-heart: healing our generational trauma and childhood wounding isn’t some cute side quest on the self-help journey. It’s the foundation.

Without it? Everything feels shaky. Relationships. Parenting. Purpose. Even your ability to feel joy.

Because how can we trust the world to hold us if no one did when it mattered most?

The Wounds We Don’t Remember Are the Ones Running the Show

We live in a culture—especially here in the U.S.—where children are often seen as burdens instead of sacred. Where elders are discarded instead of revered. And somewhere in between, all of us are walking around with unhealed child parts running the show, wondering why we feel so off.

Let me break it down:

• Between ages 0–3, your brain is all right-hemisphere dominance—raw emotion, instinct, and sensory experience.

• You don’t have words yet. You feel everything in your body.

• Your caregivers, for better or worse, lay the foundation for your nervous system.
  
  

And if your caregivers were absent, abusive, emotionally avoidant, or even just chronically stressed or disconnected;

your nervous system learned that you are too much. That your needs are dangerous. That love is conditional. That safety is a lie.

We call that attachment trauma. And yes, it shows up in adulthood in the form of:

• Toxic relationships

• Infidelity

• Abandonment issues

• Narcissistic partners

• People-pleasing

• Rage outbursts

• Numbing out

• Deep anxiety when people get too close—or too far
  
  

And no, you can’t logic your way out of this. Because your trauma is “preverbal” meaning it doesn’t have language.

As Bessel van der Kolk says in his book, The Body Keeps the Score, “All trauma is preverbal.”

As Gabor Maté teaches, the body remembers what the mind tries to forget.

Even just a mother thinking “I don’t want this baby” can alter fetal development. You don’t need words for trauma to land,

your nervous system got the message.

EMDR Attachment Repair: The Method That Took Me Back to the Womb—And Changed Everything

I’ve been there. My mother used substances and chain-smoked while pregnant. I came into this world with a nervous system on fire.

I’ve done a five-day EMDR Intensive for attachment trauma myself. And it cracked something open in me. It gave me a home in my own body for the first time in my life.

The model I use is based on Dr. Ricky Greenwald’s work and incorporates SPECT scan-informed treatment that takes you all the way back. Yes, to the womb. I know that sounds wild! But here’s what the neuroscience tells us: Your primitive brain is shaped in utero. Your sense of safety is shaped before you could walk or talk. If we don’t go back, we can’t build forward. And that’s what I do in my EMDR Intensives. We take you back to the parts of yourself you’ve exiled—the parts that were shamed, dismissed, left alone, or told to grow up too fast.

Because that’s where the healing lives.

Children Deserve to Be Valued. So Do You.

Children in this country aren’t valued. Elders aren’t respected. And play is seen as frivolous instead of holy.

But do you know what the early attachment studies show?

Babies in institutions—like the infamous Romanian orphanages—who were fed and changed but not held? They died!

Not from disease. Not from neglect. Their bodies shut down.

Do you think we grow out of that need for nurturing? No! We just learn to numb it.

But it doesn’t go away. It festers until it explodes in adulthood as emotional immaturity, spiritual emptiness, or deep disconnection.

What Healing Actually Looks Like

It’s not just crying about your past.

It’s not blaming your parents forever.

It’s this:

• Reconnecting to your body.
  
  That “weird” feeling you get in EMDR is your child part being seen for the first time.
  
  

• Reclaiming play.
  
  You don’t stop needing play because you’re grown. You stopped playing because someone shamed you for being too much, too loud, too silly.
  
  Healing means rolling on the floor laughing again. Wearing glitter again. Reclaiming your inner “weirdo”.
  
  
  

• Reparenting the parts of you that never got what they needed.
  
  It’s being the consistent, loving, “good enough” parent your inner child always deserved.
  
  

This Is the Work. And It’s the Most Sacred Work You’ll Ever Do.

You’re not broken. You’re just carrying trauma that isn’t yours.

Generational trauma. Attachment trauma. Cultural trauma.

But it can be healed!

Not overnight. But deeply. For real.

Through immersive EMDR work that doesn’t just skim the surface—it takes you all the way back and brings you home to yourself.

Ready to Heal Your Foundation?

If this stirred something in you—good! That part of you that’s still a child, they heard you!

And if you’re ready to finally feel rooted, held, and truly whole—my EMDR Intensives were made for you!

Apply now. Reconnect with the part of you that’s never stopped waiting.

Your healing doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to begin.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

References:

• Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development.

• Siegel, D. J. (1999). The Developing Mind.

• Van Der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score.

• Gabor Maté. (2008). In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts.

• Heller, D. P. (2012). The Power of Attachment.

• Greenwald, R. (2007). EMDR in the Treatment of Adults Abused as Children.